


Need You Now

by GalacticTwink



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Apathy, Autistic Dennis Reynolds, Canon Gay Character, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recovery, Self-Harm, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-30
Updated: 2018-10-30
Packaged: 2019-08-07 09:56:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16406222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GalacticTwink/pseuds/GalacticTwink
Summary: Mac?Baby I need you right nowI never say it if I don't mean it.Five minutes





	Need You Now

**Author's Note:**

> The summary looks all fucked up bc I had to do the italics on mobile; side note my ao3 is being a bitch on desktop.

I let out a deep breath, sighing down at my hands and looking to wipe them off on something nearby. I reach towards my laundry basket, but one of Mac’s white shirts is on top. I drag my palms across the jeans I’m wearing, smearing already browning red into the denim and effectively ruining a perfectly good pair of pants. I take another deep breath, just to feel my chest move. Maybe I’d feel more if I stopped breathing instead.

It’s barely there, a dull throb along with my steady heartbeat. I just stare down, eyes going out of focus and blurring the straight red lines out into the white of my skin around them. I’m totally calm, tilting my arm to watch the blood drip down my flesh onto the floor. I feel fine, hand twitching in anticipation and want to take my blade up and marr myself further. Instead I close my eyes, curling my fingers into a fist and letting my nails dig into the skin of my palm. The sting is sharp but brief, clearing my head more effectively than the long slits up my arm.

Speaking of, the throb is starting to fade; blood still oozing from the fresh wounds. My arm is going numb. That might be a bad thing, but I can’t bring myself to do anything for it. I touch my arm with a shaking digit, tracing my fingertip through the warm blood from wrist to the crook of my elbow; up all four slices and coating what had been my clean hand with red as well. I could always add another and see if I feel that.

My hand hovers over the knife, taking up my cell phone instead and trying several times to unlock it with messy fingers. I glance at my laundry basket again. Mac is busy. He told me he was going out, don’t wait up for him ‘cus he’ll be home late. I shouldn’t bother him. 

_ Mac? _

I grind my teeth into my bottom lip, sighing. I’m an awful boyfriend for that. He asked for one night and I wasn’t going to check up on him or nag him like I do when I worry for no reason. No, I can’t do that now; Mac will just be upset I didn’t call him when he gets home. 

_ Baby I need you right now _

I never say it if I don’t mean it.

_ Five minutes. _

I put down my phone and close my eyes. Five minutes. I take a deep breath. I can wait five minutes. It’s just one minute, then one more minute and repeating that until Mac is already here. I cross my legs, resting my arms on my knees and rocking my body back and forth rhythmically. Inhale when I tilt back, exhale when I dip forward. Maybe there’s something to meditating after all.

The front door opens and closes, heavy footsteps hurrying through the apartment without pausing to remove shoes. My bedroom door opens, Mac’s footfalls stopping in the threshold. 

“Baby?” I don’t pause my repetitive motion, finding the swish of wind and the rock of my body calming; though I don’t think I feel distressed. My boyfriend drops to one knee in front of me, hesitating for a moment before touching my forearm. I look up at him, his big eyes full of worry. He takes the time to study my face, assessing how dangerous I am to myself before doing anything with me. 

Mac leaves me with a chaste kiss on the temple and a promise to be right back, taking my knife with him for good measure. I can hear water running in the bathroom, and he comes back with a bowl and a washcloth; our first aid kit tucked under his arm. 

“Okay..” he sits in front of me, holding out his hand and waiting for me to rest my wrist against his palm rather than taking my arm from me.Wordlessly, he presses the cloth he brought to my arm and swipes away the drying blood gently; periodically dipping it back into the water and dying it a rusty colour. I can feel the water on my skin, hot but not uncomfortably so, dripping down my arm and curling around the underside where Mac’s fingers rest to keep me steady.

“Can you feel this?” he speaks achingly softly to me, setting aside his cloth when I’m clean and skimming his fingers lightly across my skin. I nod, throat too dry to choke out a response. 

“Good.” he doesn’t let go of me to dig through the first aid kit, keeping me anchored to him. The roll of thin gauze is starting to run low, but Mac had enough to loop it around my arm; covering all the skin between my wrist and elbow gently, careful not to pull it too tight before taping it down. He packs up the kit, pushing the water carefully away from us to scoot forward and wrap both arms tightly around me. 

I sag into Mac’s embrace, shuttering slightly as he breathes against me; ruffling my hair. I’m pressed softly to his broad chest, heart beating against me so steadily it could hypnotise me.

“I don’t know.” I answer before he asks, knowing he never would. If I’m not still upset, he never asks right away. I hate saying that to him, I hate not knowing. 

“That’s okay baby, you’re okay. I got you.” and he does. Mac shifts, pulling away from me and pushing up to his feet. I’m offered a hand, which I take, legs trembling beneath me. My boyfriend picks me up, carrying me out of my bedroom and leaving the mess to be cleaned up later. He undresses me, careful not to let his fingers glance across my skin too many times as he fumbles with my buttons and zippers; giving me a pair of his briefs and a muscle tee to replace what I’d been wearing. 

“C’mere.” Mac’s arms protect me from the world, looping around my body and pulling us together on his bed; soft sheets pressed to my bare skin and his lips touching to my face lightly. I’m cradled, my boyfriend’s warmth seeping into me and drawing out a sigh of relief. I’m safe, and with an inhale of Mac’s body spray I know I’m home

**Author's Note:**

> Wc/1060
> 
> You can also find me on [ Tumblr ](https://galactiktwink.tumblr.com) where I take (anon or not) requests and input!


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